someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
