Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he puts the penis in happiness.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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