when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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