I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
