ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
