Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
handjob tips. give me some.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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