Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
