whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
