That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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