I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize