her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
