I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
