Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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