Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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