I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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