he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
