im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
