I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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