So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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