your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
