I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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