He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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