sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
