party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
