did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
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