Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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