I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize