peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
