It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
