phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
