Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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