I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
