The maid of honor just puked.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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