my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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