I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
