HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
