So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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