I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
