didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
