Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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