i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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