Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
