guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
