Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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