Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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