Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
