My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
