K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
