didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
