it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
