dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
