so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
