I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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