Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
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I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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