well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
