tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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