just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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