"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This house was built for laser tag.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You took a bar mat shot.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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