Ambien. No doubt about it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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